I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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