He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
