she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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