I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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