apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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