I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
