he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
