do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He kissed a someone with a penis
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
