Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
