Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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