Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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