like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
