hotel room ftw
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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