Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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