summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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