she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
