D3 body, D1 cock
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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