hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
