good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
