You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
