I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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