we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
