They should really pass out barf bags in church
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
this hospital has no fireball
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
