lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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