If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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