it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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