I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
