i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
