Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
