then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
