im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is Oprah even human
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
