I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
