my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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