I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
