if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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