no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
