He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He shit in the fireplace
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