some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
