Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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