HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
