You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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