Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
