Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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