My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
