Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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