My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
