hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize