dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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