just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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