Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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