she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize