You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
