after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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