haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
