dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize