Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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