Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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