Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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