it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
